Felix: I don’t think I believed her until just now. My marriage is really over.
Oscar: Felix, go to bed.
Felix: Somehow it doesn’t seem so bad now. I mean I think I can live with this thing.
Oscar: Live with it tomorrow. Go to bed now.
Felix: In a little while. I’ve got to think. I’ve got to start rearranging my life . . . Do you have a pencil and paper?
Neil Simon, The Odd Couple
The character of Felix in Neil Simon’s play, The Odd Couple has just realized that the life he’s known for twelve years is gone. For most of Act I, he still thinks there’s hope for his marriage. But, when his wife calls Oscar’s house, not to reconcile with him, but to say that she’s painting the bedroom, he gets it. It’s over. Because of this, he’s ready to start figuring out what his life can look like now. Felix knows that the best way to get started on that task is by physically writing his ideas down. “Do you have a pencil and paper?” he asks Felix. This concept is one we can all employ when experiencing a life change or when we just want to figure out what ingredients we need from the grocery store to make a recipe. Let’s look at two ways to utilize the pen-to-paper process.
Listing
Listing is the quickest thought-releasing technique and the most satisfying. All you need is a notepad, the back of an envelope, or a colorful Post-it note. Before you get a list going, you usually have a topic in mind. So, you just start writing down any and all ideas. We could also call this a “braindump”–which is just writing down every thought you’ve been carrying around in your head about one or many things. For example, I wrote a list of possible ways to celebrate my birthday since I’m turning 50 in a few weeks.
- two-day stay at a beach condo
- spa service at a day spa
- Margaritas and Mexican food with my friends
- overnight stay with friends at a vineyard in Florence, Texas
- go to a comedy club
- game night with my family
- reserve a theater and invite family and friends to watch one of my favorite movies
Notice that I used bullet points. I did the same thing when I wrote out my physical list because filling in a circle with a ball-point pin helps me to think better. I also just like the way it looks. Chances are that you’ve probably used the listing strategy before, but there’s a site all about it in case you’d like to learn more if you click the link.
Mind mapping
Mind mapping is a brainstorming approach where you take an idea and see how far you can go with it. You start with a central theme or subject and then “branch” out of it. This method is great to use when you need to figure out what you think or want regarding a specific topic. Each choice has necessary steps and/or implications. And–you’re not sure which option makes the most sense. Having a visual picture of your mind’s meanderings can be helpful and bring you some focus. Even though you can mind-map in Word, Canva, or whatever else you use to create visuals, doing this with a pencil and paper is the best approach. Allowing the ideas to flow freely and the act of writing them down as they come is part of the process. You can use different types of lines that you couldn’t replicate on a computer. And–as you’ll see–you can use different colors for each branch. A mind map can become a work of art!
Felix and Nora
The character of Felix in The Odd Couple has something in common with the character of Nora in A Doll’s House. They are both leaving their marriages and about to embark on a new way of living–on their own. Felix doesn’t see the change coming and is in denial until he accepts that his wife is serious. “I don’t think I believed her until just now,” Felix says. This acceptance is why he needs a pen and paper–to get his head wrapped around the situation. Nora, on the other hand, has a plan and has been ready to implement it if her husband fails her. In her mind, he does. To get herself to this point of clear, definitive action, I am positive that Nora made a list or mind-mapped her options.
Are you struggling with one choice versus another? Do you have a pencil and paper? If you don’t, grab some. The act of physically writing down all the things whirling around in your head can help you to make sense of the chaos in your mind. You’d be surprised how helpful it can be.
