Brian: Who’s got a camera? I want you to see what success looks like.
Neil Simon, Laughter on the 23rd Floor
If you want to feel successful, it’s important to create archival proof of the smallest joy-filled moments in your life. Brian refers to needing a camera to record his achievement in this line from Laughter on the 23rd Floor by Neil Simon. Even though the only thing he’s produced is an idea (and one that only he thinks is brilliant), he’s on to something. Sometimes we need a reminder of all of the lovely things or people we have in our lives, especially when we have a string of hard days or weeks. Anytime you experience good things, little joys or big ones, and especially if those joys make you feel like you’ve acquired a piece of a dream, document it. Get out your camera and show yourself and the world what success looks like. Capture your happiest moments–large or small.
Definition of success
There were three definitions I found when I looked up this word. The first didn’t help at all. Webster or Johnson really need to fix that. The second was the “satisfactory completion of something, ”(the word satisfactory just feels diminishing). The third was “the gaining of wealth, respect, or fame.” Aha! There is a good definition–the one that most of us probably think of when we think about being a success or better yet, having success. Brian’s character was feigning achievement, but none the less, he knew that he needed to be photographed to preserve his fame. He knew his own worth.
The importance of photography
For a long time (off and on for years and years), I filled my days with “other” things—not writing. That sounds so typical, I know. I have been many things while running away from being a writer. One of the many jobs I had was a photographer–a full-fledged professional one. I had a website, a membership on most of the social media hubs, an invoice and payment system, and a place to deliver the photos so the client could view them all at once before making their selections. I mean, I was the real deal. That is, I was the real deal until I was done being that deal, but that’s not the point.
The point is that I know what an important tool a camera is and how it can help you to capture success—whether it’s one success or two or thirty. My photography made families look like they never quarreled, executives look like they were at the top of their games, and college graduates look as though the years of toiling were all worth it just to don that gown.
Photos can be proof of what you’ve achieved, but they can also just be fun instances that show what mini success looks like. Take a snap of a great haircut when you feel cute, or a moment of joy when you arrive at your vacation destination. If you can isolate a moment the right way, it can “look” just like the real thing. It absolutely does not matter if the other moments around that one are not ideal. We just won’t show those, will we?
Control the environment
If there is going to be any kind of documentation of us, we want it to be the right kind. That means that we have to control it. Here’s an example of not controlling it:
I have a picture of two of my sons, who were 4 and 5 at the time, sitting at the kitchen table with my dad. They are all eating popsicles. In fact, I used to reprimand my dad for feeding the boys too many popsicles, but he insisted that this was one of his favorite things to share with his grandsons. The boys enjoyed it too, but if you saw the photo I’m describing, no one “appears” to be enjoying the experience. They were all caught off guard. Everyone’s mouth is open and the boys have a little too much red on their cheeks from running around outside that summer afternoon. In addition to that, they all look pretty dingy and disheveled.
Let me break this down for you. Disheveled equals unattractive. Unattractive equals unhappy. Unhappy equals unsuccessful. Say it like a mantra, my friend. Photos tell a story, so you have to make sure it’s the one you want to tell.
Keep documenting yourself
At least once a year, get a professional photo session done. I’m not a photographer anymore, and I’m not affiliated with any, so I don’t get paid to say that at all. But—one thing I learned as a photographer with a social media presence, was that a professional camera and a person who knows how to use it are key to helping you feel good about who you are at whatever age you are. Professionals are trained to position you in a flattering way, so let them. Celebrate your movements into new phases of life; that’s worth documenting.
More importantly, though, is that when you feel that you have completed something well, document it. But, be purposeful in what you put out to the world. Don’t post pictures that are unflattering or taken by your aunt using “gorilla” photography. If I could have controlled the picture of my dad and my boys enjoying popsicle time, I would have changed several things:
- Asked my dad to put on a clean, colorful, solid-colored shirt
- Positioned everyone closer together
- Directed everyone to look at each other and pretend to be laughing
These small adjustments would have been the appearance of success—happy boys with their grandfather. Happy boys equal a great mom. A great mom equals the admiration of other moms who dream of experiencing that same joy one day. Give the people what they want–something to work towards. And, give yourself what you’ll be grateful for later. Use photos to show what success looks like for you. Most importantly, house this picture somewhere where you can always find it. That way, when a not-so-great moment brings you down, you can look back on a good one and smile.
