Velasco: Well, I took a look at you last night . . . I took a long, close look at you . . . Do you know what you are, Ethel?
Mother: (Ready for the compliment.) what?
Velasco: A good sport.
Mother: Oh . . . A good sport.
Neil Simon, Barefoot in the Park, Act III, p. 871
In the play Barefoot in the Park, Ethel (Corie’s neurotic mother), is told that she is a “good sport.” This compliment comes from an eccentric older man who has taken particular notice of her after an evening full of experiences far outside of Ethel’s comfort zone. The character of Ethel is overly cautious, structured, and conflict avoidant. Yet, instead of showing trepidation when presented with people, places and activities that she is totally unfamiliar with, she goes with the flow. She doesn’t let fear stop her even though each unusual thing she encounters would normally induce a panicked response. The result of the widow’s apparent ease makes her attractive to Henry (her blind date). As a result, not only is Ethel given the title of a good sport, but she is also asked out on a second date. And, most importantly, she’s excited about it.
Definition of a good sport
The phrase “good sport” can mean a couple of different things depending on the context in which it’s used. First, it could describe good sportsmanship. When playing a game of any sort, competitors demonstrate their attitudes clearly when the match is done. If they are gracious and accepting of a win or of a loss, they are a good sport.
The phrase can also mean going with the flow of things–not complaining or getting angry about set backs or changes in the plan, and above all, being willing to try new things. Groups often appreciate this frame of mind and welcome the good sport. Because the character of Ethel showed this side of herself, even though she was uncomfortable on the inside, something surprising happened. Being a good sport forced her to get out of her comfort zone bubble. What happened next was a ripple effect due to how she approached the unexpected evening.
What’s a comfort zone?
We all have comfort zones around how we live. They dictate what we’re willing to do and try and what we are not. When we’re familiar with our surroundings, a procedure or routine, or guaranteed a specific result, there are benefits to sticking with what we know. But, staying right where you are–all the time–causes mental and emotional stagnation. If we never try anything new to get out of the mundane, we may miss out on something valuable. For Ethel, she never would have agreed to go on a blind date–ever. She certainly would not partake of rich foods or sleep on a floor. Eating bland food and sleeping on an ironing board every night are more Ethel’s style.
Once she receives the compliment of being a good sport, is asked out to dinner and realizes she has survived an evening blatantly ignoring her comfort zones, Ethel is giddy. Plus, she can’t wait to tell her sister all about it! According to Susan Degges-White Ph.D., getting out of your comfort zone can provide a “boost to your sense of self, and your brain responds with a boost of dopamine2.” Dopamine can give a person a sense of pleasure or a sense of joy. Ethel was stuck in her daily grind of living cautiously, but after an unexpected night of saying yes when she would have normally said no, she has a newfound confidence in herself. She is ready to open herself up to more new experiences.
Wisdom from the line
What can we take away from this line in Barefoot in the Park and from this character? First, it’s important to note that being a good sport does not mean doing anything dangerous or illegal. Ethel would never do that, and neither should we. We must always assess what’s offered to us with common sense and with our intuitive faculties engaged. Second, it is true that having a set structure for your days and having supportive routines is indeed stabilizing. Ethel was not wrong to have those for herself. Individuals do need to understand their tendencies, what can throw them off balance, and what can bring them back to health. It’s because of Ethel’s consistent practices that her body could handle such a rollicking night. That kind of ground work allows a body to bounce back quicker.
Finally, let us be inspired by Ethel’s excitement. Before she exits in Act III, the stage direction indicates that she is “flourishing her bathrobe,” which means that she is waving it around in reverie. How can the desire for that kind of freedom and joy not speak to us all? So the next time you’re joining friends or family for a gathering, try going with the flow and being a good sport. Let someone else do the planning or the choosing for where to go for dinner, what movie to watch, or any other of the night’s activities. Say yes as Ethel did and flourish that bathrobe a little. See what happens if you do.
- Simon, Neil. “Barefoot in the Park”. A Samuel French acting ed. New York, Samuel French, 1964. ↩︎
- Degges-White, Suzanne. “Don’t Let Your Comfort Zone Be a Barrier
10 tips to help build the confidence needed to leave your comfort zone”. Psychology Today, 7 June 2024, https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/lifetime-connections/202405/dont-let-your-comfort-zone-be-a-barrier ↩︎
