Brian: Who’s got a camera? I want you to see what success looks like.—Laughter on the 23rd Floor by Neil Simon
If you want to appear successful—for a moment or for a lifetime—there has to be some documentation of it, otherwise no one will bear witness to it. Brian refers to needing a camera in order to record his achievement in this line from Laughter on the 23rd Floor by Neil Simon. He’s on to something. I have begun this process for myself. Writing this blog, maintaining it, and being committed to it and to you is part of my plan to be a successful writer. Essentially, this blog is the “photo” of the attainment of my goal. Have you been archiving the good things in your life? Or the things that at least make you feel like you’ve acquired a piece of a dream or of something that brings you joy?
For a long time (off and on for years and years), I have filled my days with “other” things—not writing. That sounds so typical, I know. I’ve been the wife and mother who whines about not having enough time or energy to fulfill her ultimate dream, but who has plenty of time for jobs that drain all of her lifeforce. I have been many things while running away from being a writer. One of those was a photographer. Not a phone photographer, but a full-fledged professional one. I had a website, a membership on most of the social media hubs, an invoice and payment system, and a place to deliver the photos so the client could view them all at once before making their selections. I mean, I was the real deal. I was the real deal until I was done being that deal, but that’s not the point.
The point is that I know what an important tool a camera is and how it can help you capture success—whether it’s one success or two or thirty. A camera produces a photo, which is proof of what you have achieved–a great haircut, a moment of joy on a vacation, the fancy meal you ate on your anniversary—whatever it is. Brian, in Laughter on the 23rd Floor has it correct. If you can capture a moment the right way, it can “look” just like success. It absolutely does not matter if the other moments around that one are not ideal. We just won’t show those, will we?
APPEARING SUCCESSFUL
If there is going to be any kind of documentation of us, we want it to be the right kind. That means that we have to control it. Here’s an example of not controlling it:
I have a picture of two of my sons, who were 4 and 5 at the time, sitting at the kitchen table with my dad. They are all eating popsicles. In fact, I used to reprimand my dad for feeding the boys too many popsicles. But my dad insisted that this was one of his favorite things to do with his grandsons. And the boys enjoyed it too. But if you actually saw the photo I’m describing, no one “appears” to be enjoying the experience. They were caught off guard—their mouths were open and the boys had a little too much red on their cheeks from running around outside that summer afternoon. In addition to that, they all look pretty dingy and disheveled.
Disshevled equals unattractive. Unattractive equals unhappy. Unhappy equals unsuccessful. Say it like a mantra, my friend. Photos tell a story, so you have to make sure it’s the one you want to tell.
DEFINITION OF SUCCESS
There were three definitions I found when I looked up this word. The first didn’t help at all. Have you ever noticed how the first definition of a word tells you absolutely nothing because it includes the word you just looked up? Webster or Johnson really need to fix that. The second was the “satisfactory completion of something.” And what is satisfactory? We’ll get to that in a second. The third was “the gaining of wealth, respect, or fame.” Aha! There is a good definition. The one that most of us probably think of when we think about being a success or better yet, having it. Brian’s character was feigning achievement, but non the less knew that he needed to be photographed to preserve his self-proclaimed fame.
But what of the second definition? The “satisfactory completion of something”? When I was in elementary school, we received the grade of “S” on our report cards to indicate not advanced achievement, but a level of achievement that was indicative of a normal kindergartener or second grader—a mere “satisfactory” rating. The unglamorous “S” did not give me a feeling of worth or being applauded for my smarts. On the contrary, it made me feel ordinary. Ordinary is sad (for most of us, anyway). Who wants to document the ordinary or the sad?
Well, with social media being the ever-present “Mrs. Davis” if you will, the average guy or gal repeatedly documents the ordinary in the hope that their ordinary will trick someone—usually people who actually do know them—into believing that their lives are better and worthy of such distinction.
HOW TO ACHIEVE SUCCESS
When you feel that you have completed something well, document it. At least once a year, get a photo session done. I’m not a photographer anymore, and I’m not affiliated with any, so I don’t get paid to say that at all. But—one thing I learned as a photographer with a social media presence, was that a professional camera and a person who knows how to use it are your best chance for defining a moment of success. Don’t post pictures that are unflattering or taken by your aunt using “gorilla” photography. Be purposeful in what you put out to the world.
If I could have controlled the picture of my dad and my boys enjoying popsicle time, I would have changed several things:
- Asked my dad to put on a clean, colorful, solid-colored shirt
- Positioned everyone closer together
- Directed everyone look at each other and pretend to be laughing
That would have been the appearance of success—happy boys with their grandfather. Happy boys equal a great mom. A great mom equals the admiration of other moms who dream of that same joy one day. Give the people what they want. Give them something to envy. And most importantly, give yourself a pat on the back for a great moment or moments in your life. You’ll be glad you did.
